Some fears that are attributableinclude:Īnother important factor is peoples inability to stay focused for too long (beyond 4 minutes or even less for some). Their conversation is hollow because their thought is hollow because they are hollow.įear is also a substantial component in people's tendency for vapid or lacklustre conversation. They take everything “personally.” And so, they avoid such topics and make their conversation partners avoid them, too.Ģ) People have not been taught to effectively use critical thinking, to subject things to further analysis, to ask deeper questions about life and to seek answers in their reading. To play on Wittgenstein’s famous dictum, the limits of one’s education mean the limits of his world:ġ) Some people have not learned to be able to calmly consider other points of view on topics such as politics or religion. There seem to be two main reasons why some people always resort to the superficial, and both have to do with shortcomings of their education. We find it hard to break this thinking maze we have built while struggling and meandering through the development of the self. There is a common phenomenon in the mind of humans that cause us to be preoccupied with the habitual thought patterns we learn most consistently through social interactions. Not that they are incapable of ever finding it interesting but probably because their interests in life never developed their minds to the capacity to be able to handle those topics without becoming utterly confused and/or depressed. In actuality though it is not that they haven’t had a chance, it is because they flat out reject it every time they come near it. Most people assume it doesn't mean they are themselves shallow, it simply means they haven't had much opportunity to discuss "truth", be it of a psychological nature, spiritual, metaphysical, etc. There are many reasons why people have a tendency to only place value on shallow conversations and I will explore these further now. There are trivial people and there are small-minded people. But we all know there are those close to us with whom our conversation is ALWAYS limited to things such as where they’ve gone out to eat recently, what activities their children are involved in, or, of course, sports. It’s a low-key opportunity to demonstrate good judgement, so all the more reason why it makes you look bad if you can’t or won’t do it.ĭon’t mistake me: I’m not saying that every conversation has to result in an extended philosophical dialogue the occasional chit-chat is fine. For everyone else, it’s just how we do sanity and maturity checks on new people while the stakes are low. For the introvert, it’s particularly valuable as an efficient way to find out who’s worth talking to more. It’s the human equivalent of dogs sniffing butts. It is a predictable exchange with predictable results. It is like a game of chess where both players always know each other’s next move. Instead of being light and fun, the conversation is flat and boring. The truth is that small talk allows two people to have an entire conversation without really getting to know each other. Consequently, authenticity dies on the vine. Likewise, any emotion besides happy or neutral is discouraged. Personal questions are considered inappropriate. Eleanor Roosevelt once said “small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events Great minds discuss ideas"
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